We adopted a senior dog!
And got a puppy!
In case you have missed my Instagram stories, a lot has changed lately. I am engaged, working as a full-time emergency veterinarian, and living in St. Petersburg, Florida. I bought a house and two cars, paid off some student loan debt, adopted a puppy and a senior dog (which was supposed to be the point of this blog post), and still, my life feels like it is in shambles…
Nonetheless, life is overall pretty good. I love my job although it does come with its fair share of challenges. My home is gorgeous and my fiance is truly one of a kind.
But today I cried a lot.
“It’s okay to not be okay.” This was something I really focused on during COVID times. Acceptance of the fact that sometimes things are pretty shitty. And sometimes things feel shitty when really everything is going pretty great.
I used to write for fun because no one read my blog. Then, when people started to read my blog, I stopped writing. Why is that?
I feel it all the time. And that’s okay too, I have accepted it.
I think the burden right now is how much life can change. I make money and yet it feels like I have none. Family ties are strained. There’s a wedding to plan while other relationships fall apart.
It is not an easy task to plan a celebration of love while important people in your life fall out of love.
It’s possible that you may read this and think I have gone crazy. Perhaps that is true. But frankly, I think we are all a bit wonky. Especially those who don’t admit what they are feeling.
I am like that sometimes. I keep things bottled inside until they explode. Today, I also screamed at the top of my lungs. To be honest, it felt good to get the excess energy out of my system. I think there is some kind of meditation like that, like a primal release of pent-up anger. That’s what I did today. I think I scared my dogs but Joey stuck around so that is reassuring. Rhea (the puppy) licked away my tears. My senior rescue Piper sat by me and let me pet her while I cried. Apollo (my heart dog) was unsurprisingly used to the chaos. Dogs are pretty amazing, aren’t they?
I suppose the point of opening up and telling you all this is to remind you that outside appearances can be deceiving. I am beyond grateful for my support system (including my three dogs) and that I can now be a support system for others. But the responsibility certainly can be overwhelming.
As for my career? Well, the veterinary industry is as brutal as it is rewarding. I choose to focus on the good (most days).
I know this blog post is jumbled and convoluted but to be fair I haven’t written a blog post in over a year. It feels like fragments are coming to the surface and I can’t recall why I resisted writing for so long.
For the most part…
Life is good. Most days, life is everything I could have hoped for. Today wasn’t my day and that’s okay. In my weird anxious episode, I rebuilt my website and wrote this blog post. I also felt immense love and support from the dogs and humans in my life. And I could not be more thankful.
Thanks for always being there.
I hope you know that I am always here for you.